What do you want that you already have?

There are many things we want. Sometimes we want more money, a better career, or a better house. Sometimes we want more romance, more friendship, or more peace. 

Wanting is living and there is an art to wanting, just as there is an art to life.

There are two types of wanting, conscious wanting and unconscious wanting. With the latter, we operate by default. We feel lack and inadequacy without what we want, because that’s how we’ve been programmed to feel since we were born. If we don’t have the money, we feel poor. If we don’t have the lover, we feel lonely. 

With conscious wanting, on the other hand, we feel fuller because of our new desires, not emptier because they haven’t manifested yet. How can you feel fuller when you don’t have something you want? You can feel fuller by experiencing the essence of what you want, before you get it. 

Let me illustrate with a short story from my life. 

My family and I had outgrown our apartment in Brooklyn. When we moved there, our son was only four, and a two bedroom apartment seemed appropriate. But when our daughter was born and our son turned the adult age of seven years old, the apartment became smaller and smaller. Suddenly, it felt more like a box than a home. At night, the NYC ambulances and firetrucks reminded me how much I wanted to live in a quiet area. During the day, hearing our neighbors’ conversations through the thin walls, seeing my kids try to run around with no space to do so, and having a blanket of toys on the floor in our tiny living room, made me increasingly thirsty to move out of Brooklyn and into the quiet, forested town my husband and I had our heart set on. 

So we began to scout the housing market, eager to buy a house and escape our current situation. The only problem? Houses were getting scooped up faster than they were uploaded on home buying websites. After the pandemic, a vast influx of buyers had inundated the out-of-NYC areas. I didn’t think they would find the small town we had our eyes on- nobody I knew had ever heard of it - but they did. After losing five bids, we became discouraged. At first, I was overwhelmed with regret. We should have bought earlier, I thought. Just a few months before, houses were selling at reduced prices because nobody wanted them. 

Others suggested we pause our search and wait a few years. But the thought of it made me uneasy. I knew what I wanted, but I was stuck in thoughts about what I didn’t want - the small apartment, the lack of space, the crazy NYC noises and the large crowds. I was unhappy where I was. I was operating in the unconscious wanting mode of living. I reacted to my reality by feeling empty, a knee jerk reaction, instead of consciously choosing how I experienced that same reality.

I reflected. Surely there must be a way to get what we want, I thought. A small wave of optimism washed over me. There had been many times in my life when things worked out, even if all the odds were against it. There had been many times when the universe had conspired to help me get what I wanted. 

Then, I remembered a question that the fairies of the universe whispered in my ear a few years back, when I began learning about the law of attraction:

What do you want that you already have?, said the whisper.

I want space, silence, peace, a beautiful home and trees, I thought.

Can I have these things now? Of course I can, I told myself.

I immediately began to look for ways to experience what I wanted in our apartment in Brooklyn. I cleaned, decluttered and looked at each item with love. I rearranged our furniture, decorated with flowers and began to fall in love with my home all over again. I created more space by giving away old items we no longer needed. I used my noise blocking headphones to create some silence for my ears. I created more peace within our family. I went to the park more often and sat under the big trees. 

In doing all of these things, I began to experience the essence of what I wanted, without actually having what I wanted. My vibration increased, and I became detached from my goal. I made peace with where I was.

Two weeks later, through a serendipitous turn of events, we had the house we wanted. 

One Saturday afternoon, my husband and I happened to have an appointment in the town where we wanted to move. After our appointment, my husband left me alone for a few minutes and out of boredom, I opened my phone and checked my email. A new home had just been listed a few minutes before, and it was exactly what we had been looking for. I immediately called our real estate agent, who happened to be free that afternoon (she was usually very busy during that time, with back to back appointments). Thirty minutes later, we were the first to see the house. We quickly put together an offer, and followed our agent’s advice to write a letter to the sellers. 

Our offer got accepted that same evening, even though the house had many appointments with prospective buyers scheduled for the next day. 

Was it a coincidence that we happened to be in that town right when our house came on the market? Or that our agent was free when I called her? Or that the sellers accepted our offer without even waiting for others to land on their desk? I don’t think so. That’s how the universe fulfills your desires when you’ve created the space for it to do so. The universe couldn’t fulfill my desire earlier because I was stuck in feeling empty without what I wanted. But as soon as I began to feel full with what I already had, I created the space for the fairies of the universe to conspire in my favor.

In the end, my family and I got what we wanted because we experienced the essence of what we wanted, before we got it.

So, what do you want that you already have?